Tips for Dealing with Elderly Parents Who Refuse Help

Many adult children face challenges when caring for their elderly parents. Sometimes the parent may refuse to follow simple instructions to keep them safe. A parent may have dementia or mobility issues and refuse to follow simple routines. According to research, most adult children believe their parents intentionally refuse to get help. Knowing how to deal with such a situation is vital to ensure your parent gets to accept the care you want to give them and work with you toward living a better life. If your aged parent refuses help, here are tips to make them cooperate.

  • Ask Them Questions

When you want to give the best to your elderly loved one, you will do anything to make them feel loved. Sometimes you can go overboard without noticing it, even with good intentions. The result may be retaliation from your loved one. The best thing to ensure you do the necessary stuff is to ask them questions. Ask them what they think about how you treat them and what they would like you to change. Ask them about what they love to do and what you should include in their meals. Your elderly may refuse to go grocery shopping with you because they prefer going alone. Therefore, it is vital to understand them before making decisions.

  • Involve Them in Finding Solutions

When frustrated about your elderly parent refusing care, you may go for quick solutions to fix the issue. Even with good intentions, your loved one may feel like you are ignoring them. It is vital to involve them when looking for solutions. For instance, if you have decided to enroll them in a care facility, you need to talk to them first about the decision. Residential aged care is crucial, but it will only be helpful if your loved one agrees. Allow them also to help you when choosing the facility. It will help them feel comfortable during their stay.

  • Set Boundaries

If you feel frustrated and overwhelmed because you cannot get your parent to accept help, it can be helpful if you set some boundaries. You can spend time away from them to help them understand where you are coming from. Avoid insisting or going to their house daily but keep communicating. Setting emotional boundaries can be hard, but it is necessary, especially when your loved one is becoming more difficult. Detach with love to give yourself time to focus while still caring for them.

  • Star Small

It is advisable to start small with the options and give them time to think. You could be thinking of hiring a caregiver to help them with daily activities like driving, cooking, and washing. However, before you do that, inform them and give them time to decide. Bringing in major changes can be uncomfortable, so start small and show them that you respect their boundaries.


Caring for your elderly parent can be difficult and overwhelming. While you may have the best intentions, taking on the responsibilities alone may be hard. Give your loved one a chance to decide and think over the options you give them. If it does not work, keep boundaries and respect their decisions.